i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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