"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize