Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize