a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
