I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
