Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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