best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
