I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
