Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
