Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
