So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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