So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
