I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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