I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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