i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
