Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
