She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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