Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
