i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
