I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
