I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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