we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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