Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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