For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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