idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
