Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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