You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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