Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
