He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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