the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
