Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
