...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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