We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
