Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
