Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
