She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
