Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
