Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
