Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize