Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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