if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
