I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
