bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize