We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
