time to smoke my breakfast
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
