I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
