I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
