I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
