last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i believe in u and ur pee
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize