hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
