I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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