Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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