Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
