I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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