I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
