Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
