JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
