So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
