so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
